It’s funny how life is backwards sometimes. The older I get the more I realize I don’t really know anything. Not like I thought I did. When I was a teenager, I thought my mom was nuts sometimes. Now, I think she knows everything
When I first got married, I thought my husband didn’t know how to do anything the way I thought it should be done. Now, I realize that yes, sometimes he actually has some pretty decent ideas.
Before I had kids, I would see weary moms pushing shopping carts in Kroger & think, “my kids will never…” If you need any proof that I have become that mom, click HERE.
Fast forward several years, throw in a husband, two kids, a dog, a house, a full-time job, and oh yes, spina bifida, & it’s amazing I don’t have a gray hair…yet.
Lately I’ve been thinking maybe the Lord just wants me to learn patience on this journey. That I don’t need pre-conceived ideas about what I would or wouldn’t do in a situation I’m not yet in, that I don’t have to control everything, or that maybe instead of ME helping make MY family into something, HE’s making ME into something.
It seems there’s something about unexpected twists in life that either make you throw your faith out the window, or realize you can’t make it on this road alone.
I’ve been reading from my old devotion book-Streams in the Desert lately. I’d been having one of those days where you wonder why in the world you would choose to serve a God who does things that don’t really jive with your plans. Who lets things happen that you don’t think should happen. Like, why in the world would I love & serve a God who allows my child to have challenges right from the get-go?
It was that night that I dug out my book, and came across this quote.
“The only way to know strong faith, is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm through severe testings.”
I realized that night, that I don’t want to be the person with the shallow faith. I used to think I did. I wanted things my way. I knew best. Slowly, I am realizing that maybe God chooses to give me alternatives to the things I once thought I needed or wanted, & yes, maybe initially I think it’s wrong, or maybe He’s mistaken, or not trustworthy at all. I start to question things.
But as time goes on, I gain a new perspective. I gain patience. My faith gets stronger. I realize, that the things I never dreamed I would want or need, are exactly perfect for me.